It doesn't all stink.

Happy Halloween!! Today has been a rough one in our household. I am not here to dwell on that, however. I figured out the up-side to this dairy allergy. Halloween candy did not control me today! I usually have self-control when it comes to candy. I am not a huge candy eater under normal circumstances, but Halloween usually gets me.

And just for the heck of it, here is a picture of my little Elsa and Anna.

I am not into doing what is super-trendy. I find it annoying to be like everyone else. So, the fact that every other little girl is dressed like this sort of annoys me. However, I also 100% believe in letting my girls choose who or what they want to be for Halloween.. and letting their individuality show. These girls literally will act out entire scenes from the movie. It's crazy. A couple of nights ago I heard them in their bedroom "WHEEE THIS IS SO FUN!" "Slow down, Anna" and on and on and on it goes.

Addison is THREE!!!

My "middle child" turned THREE on Monday. Once again, where has the time gone?!

I still remember the day that she came into this world. She was only 8 pounds, 6 ounces; 21 inches long. She had such long, dark hair, and it was beautiful. I thought that she was so tiny and perfect.

She is still perfect in my eyes, but sure does give me a run for my money!

Here is my baby girl after she was born. Look at all of that hair!!!

First Birthday

Second Birthday

Third Birthday



This little girl.. Where do I even start with her. She is a huge animal lover. She loves looking at pictures of animals and pretending to be them. She is very into horses especially right now. She is LOUD. Goodness this child is loud. She has this shrill screech/scream thing that she likes to do, and she thinks it's hilarious. She is wild and spunky and not afraid to tell you like it is. She will tell you to leave her alone if she doesn't want to be bothered. She refuses to believe that her name is Addison since we have called her Addi for so long. And, don't you dare try to throw the middle name in the mix. It will all be over for you! haha!

But, she is the most tender-hearted little girl I have ever seen. Her feelings get hurt very easily. She cried during a move once because a character got hurt. I had to comfort her until she saw that he was ok. She gives the best bear hugs. She loves being a big sister. Every morning that I bring Harper upstairs, I will lay her on a blanket on the floor to get her diaper changed. Addi is immediately by my side ready to help or just give hugs and kisses. She loves to pretend to be a doctor and always wants to kiss boo-boos for everyone. She is super funny and has a wild imagination. She is such a problem-solver and will produce pretend screw drivers, boxes, etc. whenever they are needed.

I could go on and on about my kids for days, so I will stop with the biggest parts of her huge personality.

Addi, you are a huge blessing to your family. You are so sweet and kind. You have enough personality to fill the room, and I hope that you never lose that. We love you so much, little one!!

Harper -3 months

Goodness, where does the time go?! My baby girl is over three months old. Wasn't she just born yesterday?

Here come the pictures...

Above is newborn, 1 month, and 2 months. That 2 month picture cracks me up. She was trying to giggle, but just couldn't figure it out.

Here is Harper at 3 months. Her cat hat is crooked, so it looks like we made her some dark unicorn or something. I promise that she is a cute kitty and not the unicorn of death!!

She tries to roll onto her side. She started giggling while we were in Illinois. My dad got to hear her first giggle. Well, I think anyway. I asked him if he heard it, and he nodded, so maybe he didn't even hear my question. ;) He is hard of hearing sometimes. Harper took her first trip, obviously to Illinois. She finally got to meet her aunts and uncles (all but Uncle Jason anyway). She adored her Papa, and loved to snuggle on his shoulder. She is still very much a mama's girl, which I absolutely eat up! I don't mind holding her all day every day. :p My back minds after a while, but I try to tell it to be quiet. Also, I don't hold her all day before the stoning takes place via internet.

She loves to stretch out on the floor and have Addi smother her with love and kisses. She sleeps through the night most nights, and takes usually three long naps during the day. Sleepy girl, just like her mama. She has the sweetest little voice, and is an extremely happy baby. She only cries if she is hungry, if I have eaten something that she is allergic to, or if she is with people she doesn't know.

I am not sure on her length, but she was just over 12 pounds at an appointment that I made right before she turned 3 months. She is wearing 3-6 month clothes now, but can still wear most 0-3 mo. pants. Harper is my smallest baby, and is not growing at the insane rate that my older two did. It makes me happy that I get to cling to the tiny baby phase a little longer!

Harper, you are such a blessing to our family. Your huge gummy grins light up the entire room. We love you so much!!

Some good advice

My home-pastor is a great mentor for Scott and I. His wife is this beautiful lady (inside and out). I have never heard her say a mean word to anyone. She always has a smile on her face, but is also gracious enough to admit if it's been a rough morning. She even does that with a smile! I have always looked up to them and wanted to "be like" them when it comes to the ministry.

Scott and I spent a week in Illinois with our families. Our home-church is included in that. They are family to us. There is NOTHING like going back. Nothing at all. Pastor called me into his office because he wanted to say hi. He will be going through hip replacement surgery November 10, and that is why he did not come to me. He is in a lot of pain, so pray for him.

Anyway, he calls me in and chats a little about his life, and asks about mine. I share something with him that had hurt my feelings a little, and that has been eating away at my brain since it happened. He told me, "Let it go." He told me to stop worrying about what other people think. Stop trying to be like "so and so". "BE YOU" he said. He said to be kind, be Jesus, but be ME. I don't have to try to please everyone because it is not going to ever happen.

If you know me, then you know that I am a people pleaser. I have said in previous posts that I don't like to hurt peoples' feelings, or even feel like I MAY hurt them. I am willing to get trampled by them, and I will just smile and pretend that it's all ok. I long to be a better wife, mother, leader, etc. There is nothing wrong with that, but I focus to much on being a wife like "so and so" or a mom like "so and so". The only "so and so" that I need to be like is Christ. He offended with his message. The Bible is always going to offend. I need to stop worrying about what others will think of me if I start to stand up for myself. I always stand up for my beliefs when it comes to the Bible and my faith. But, I am afraid to speak out if something upsets me for fear of upsetting others. Why am I so willing to be upset and hurt? I am tired of feeling defeated and beat down by peoples' words and actions. They shouldn't matter. If it is something that DOES matter, then I need to speak up and say something about it.

I love sitting in a chair across from Pastor's desk. Even as a teenager he would welcome me into his office ready to give me some advice. He always ended his talks with "stay pure." when I was a teen. Now, he ends them with, "I love you. I hope you know that!" October is Pastor's appreciation month. I appreciate my "home pastor" so very much for all that he has done for me since I started coming to church in the 6th grade. (I have known him for even longer, but that is another story!)

Fix my eyes..

Have you heard the song "Fix My Eyes" by For King and Country? Listen to it. I'll wait..

I think it's fitting for what I have been convicted about. This is my husband's current favorite song. What am I fixing my eyes on? AM I TAKING THE TIME FOR OTHERS?

Today, a friend this video from The Meta Picture's website. Watch it. I'll wait again..

How convicting. Are you convicted? I am. I don't even have a smart phone, but I am still convicted.

I love Facebook for the fact that it still allows me to connect to friends that live far away; to family that lives far away. However, I no longer receive calls from some family. My sisters and I do a fairly good job of calling each other to talk. That's it though. The phone works both ways. I understand that. But, there are times when I try to resist calling to see just how long it would take for them to call me... eventually I give in and call because I miss them. I worry about calling my grandparents, because they struggle to breathe when talking. They have 17 great grand children (the count may be higher now, I can't keep track) so you can imagine how many grand children and children call them. Shame on me though. I should still at least call and SAY "I love you." because I do.

I should stop trying to run for my camera or the camera on my phone to capture pictures and video of my children. I should be more in the moment. Just enjoy them doing something silly instead of wasting seconds that add up to minutes and hours of time that I have with them. They are children for such a short time. While these days seem long.. so, so long.. the years are SO short. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. While I will be grateful for the pictures that I have of my little ones when they are grown, I know that I need to do better.

It is currently nap time for my kiddos, just in case anyone thinks that I am wasting time writing about how I need to spend more time with them.

This also convicts me about my relationship with Scott. I enjoy getting to interact with people on facebook; to catch up with friends and see what is going on in my family's life. But, really, do I need to see a picture of what they are having for dinner? Do I need to know the exact timing of the run that my sisters have just finished? Don't get me wrong. I want to know what is going on in their lives, but is it something that I need to know RIGHT NOW, or is it something that can wait for those phone calls that we exchange? I am so caught up in it, no matter how much I want to pretend that I don't NEED it. I have a wonderful man who comes home from serving others all day, and he comes home to serve his family. He jumps in and plays with the girls while I make dinner. Sometimes he even surprises me by doing the dishes while I am feeding Harper after dinner. Why would I rather spend time with a computer screen after the girls go to bed then spend time with him? He DESERVES more from me.

Not to mention the fact that we waste so much time on the internet that we could be spending with God. How many hours in prayer do I spend compared to how many hours I spend "with" my friends/family on facebook? THIS IS KEY. The ratio for me is so far off. What about you? How are you doing in this area? Are you spending more time in the Word and in prayer than you spend on facebook or instagram? Are you spending more time texting meaningless things back and forth than you are spending with God?

Wow.

I completely needed this video. I think I have seen it before, but it really struck me today. I am failing. But, life is not over yet, and I am determined to change it. I am going to fix my eyes on what matters.

Rules for visiting a baby OUTSIDE of the home

There are hundreds of blog posts that give great tips for visiting a new mom. This one is my favorite. There is a lot of criticism towards this article.. that it's absurd to have such a long list of rules when people just want to see the baby. Some of them are a bit much for me, but you know what? That mama worked hard. No delivery, recovery, etc. is going to be completely easy. Even if it is, having a new baby is tiring. If you feel like you are ENTITLED to see the baby, why can't a mom feel "entitled" to lay down some ground rules for when you come to visit. Navigating those first weeks, and sometimes months is a difficult task. That is HER baby, not yours. She can make whatever rules she wants to, and you just have to live with it because she is mommy and you are not. Not to mention, you are coming into HER home. Is it really that bad to be expected to WASH YOUR HANDS and not stay very long?


Anyway.

I feel like there is a lack of posts that give some ground rules for when a person is interacting with a new mom and baby, especially in a church-type situation. At church, you end up going from person to person who violates these rules. By the time you finally reach the door to leave, you want to collapse into a ball and cry... or maybe I am the only one. Here are some things that I wish that more people would think about.

1. Look, don't touch Babies are cute and sweet, and everyone wants to get their hands on them. While I am not a huge germaphobe, I do not want people touching my baby's hands or face. My baby sucks her thumb. whatever germs you have all over your hands just got on hers, and are now in her mouth. Plus, if she gets sick it is going to trickle through our family, and three sick kids is not an easy task. Don't touch her face either. Would you really want someone poking all over your face? Especially someone that you don't know?

2. Think before you "tell the baby" things. Whenever people talk to my baby about the things that they feel that I am doing wrong, it really frustrates me. If you have a problem, just say it to the mother instead of, "Oh, your mommy needs to support your head more, doesn't she?" Maybe it would be better if you just didn't say anything at all unless the child's health or life is in danger. Most moms are doing the best that they can, and doing what they believe to be right in their hearts. I can't get over how much criticism has been given to me by talking to my babies. Talking to my baby is fine, obviously, but please don't use it as an opportunity to tear me down.

3. ASK if it is ok to hold the baby This seems like it should be a no-brainer, right? I have had several people actually take my baby out of my hands without asking me if it was even ok to hold her. No, not strangers, but it is still not ok. Just because we go to church together does not mean that I want you taking my baby out of my hands... especially when I have FINALLY calmed her down from a crying fit. I actually enjoy holding my baby. The only times I need a "break" from it are when I am home and have had to hold her all day long if she is not feeling well or upset. That is what her daddy is for.

4. Limit the amount of time you spend extra close to the baby I have three little girls. I have always been in churches that are filled with people who love to love on my little babies. That is fantastic. I would much rather that than the people who hate babies and feel the need to say so. However, the more time you spend in a baby's face, the more time you are also in the mom's face. I understand that people want to see the baby up close. That is understandable. Babies are cute. But, so many people just stay there. Maybe this is just me, but I have a bubble. I prefer for people to spend a majority of their time outside of that bubble when interacting with me... and my bubble isn't even that big. I want at least a foot between our faces.

5.If you see that a mom is rushing, don't stop her Getting a baby ready to go anywhere is stressful. Inevitably, as soon as they are in the carseat, they will spit-up on whatever they are wearing. So, you have to start all over again. I am usually running behind when I get to church. I am trying to high-tail it to the nursery so that I can feed her (she doesn't take a bottle very well yet, so I feed her in the nursery to ensure that she can make it through both services) and make it to Sunday School on time. Please, just say hi and let me keep rushing. If you see a mom in a grocery store with a baby, and she looks frazzled, just smile politely and keep going. If the baby is screaming, don't even make eye contact. Pretend that you don't hear the baby. I have had so many people stare at me if my baby is screaming; even other mom's who are holding babies. I am sure that you have heard a baby cry before. If you are a mother, you know how much you are sweating and desperate to disappear when the screaming episodes happen in public.

6. Always acknowledge siblings There are so many times that my sweet older girls are completely ignored because people want to see the baby. If older siblings are next to the baby. Please say hello to them. Make sure that they know that they are not completely forgotten. They are going through a lot of changes with a new baby at home. Please try to make this easier on them.

***I am editing this post to add to it**
7. Just because it was ok "when your kids were little" does not mean it is ok now A lot of research has been done in the last 20+ years. Babies are safer in five-point harness car seats. We would all be safer if we could have a five-point harness. Just because you survived however you rode in the car doesn't mean anything. Why wouldn't you want to do what is safer for a child if you now know better? Babies do not need water or rice in their bottles. They get all of the hydration and nutrients they need in their milk or formula. Once again, a mother is doing what she feels is best in her heart. If you are watching a baby, respect what the mom wants. Don't give things to the baby that she has asked you not to. Watching a baby is a privilege. It is not a right. If you break a mom's trust by doing something just because "it was ok when your kids were little"; most likely you will no longer be watching that baby.


8. Be supportive Breast milk is always better than formula- God made us this way, and that is what I choose to do. If a mother is struggling with breast feeding- offer her encouraging words instead of suggesting that she just give up. I have only stopped breast feeding in the past because of another pregnancy. Even then, I kept going until I literally was no longer producing any milk. I have had issues every time with breast feeding, but I am stubborn and stuck/am sticking with it. I can't tell you how many times I have been told to just give up. "It's not worth it." To me, it is incredibly worth it. However, if a mother reaches the point where it feels like too much, and she switches to formula, do not harass her about it. That decision is tough. It was hard on me even though my only other option would have been to starve my babies. I have never started a baby out on formula, so I can't relate to the feelings of being given a hard time about that. Just be supportive though. I have said it a million times (or maybe it just feels that way): EVERY MOM IS DOING WHAT SHE FEELS IS BEST IN HER HEART. Why don't we just start supporting each other in this journey?


This post is incredibly self-serving. I will admit that. I do not like hurting people's feelings. I have a hard time speaking up when something bothers me. I have asked my husband to speak up for me because he is much better at it than I am. I just don't like seeing the hurt on people's faces when I say "no". If people don't even ask and just plow through, I am often too shocked to figure out the words to say. I want people to read this and realize that maybe their actions can be completely overwhelming without intending to be that way. I don't think anyone sets out to be an annoying person, though there are a few people who leave me scratching my head. If you read this and feel guilty, know that you are most certainly not the only person doing these things. But, please, don't just read this and keep on doing the same things that you have been doing. Try to be less overwhelming if you realize that you are doing it.

I always struggle a lot when I have a new baby. I am assured in what I am doing. I LOVE having a new baby in the house, so it is not the baby that causes the struggle. I don't mind the sleep depravation, because I love my baby. I want to spend time with her. I don't want to have to share her at all; just being honest here. Even visiting family is a struggle, because I end up feeling like I miss out on days of her life. I want to snuggle her as much as possible and soak up every moment of her infancy. It goes by too quickly. That is where I struggle. Infancy only lasts one year. One short year that flies by all too quickly. It is even harder this time because I will never get that again. I am never going to have a brand new baby that is my flesh and blood to snuggle. I struggle with everyone wanting to pass my baby around. I always want to rush through the crowds and get home where I feel "safe". I know that at home I can soak it all up without having to share with anyone but her daddy and sisters... which makes my heart just as happy as when I am holding her.

What about you? Do you have anything to add to this list?