My tricky thyroid

Some of you know that during my pregnancy with Addison, I had somewhat of a cancer scare. I kept having all sorts of heart palpitations. I wore a heart monitor for a couple of days that monitored my heart rate every second of the day. When that showed nothing, I wore a heart monitor for TWO WEEKS. I had to push a button and stay completely still if I had any heart issues. Of course, I only had one episode in those two weeks (after having several per day before these monitors). That one episode didn't get recorded for some reason. If you move even a little bit, it doesn't go through. Anyway, fast forward a few weeks and my sister and mom were skyping with me. My sister pointed out that my neck looked fat. Ha! Just kidding. She said that my thyroid looked weird. So, I called the doctor's office. My mom had half of her thyroid removed because she had a growth on it. Her neck looked just like mine when she discovered this.. I go into the doctor and the nurse tells me that the last person who had all of the problems that I was having ended up having thyroid cancer. OOOooookayy.. Cue heart attack. I had to have blood work done, and sweat by the phone until the called me. All of my blood work came back just fine, and I never thought about it again.

Fast forward a couple of years. Last week I started having some problems with my neck. It was hurting the outside of my neck to talk, swallow, or move. It would feel a little better in the morning after having the rest, but by the end of the day I was popping Tylenol and wanting to cry. I called the doctor and she noticed that my thyroid looked large. Uh, ok. Yeah, but that's how my neck always looks doesn't it? Is it abnormal? So, she orders blood tests and an ultrasound. I got the results of my blood test the day I was going in for my ultrasound. "Your thyroid function is just fine." Awesome, so I probably have some tumor or some horrific thing that causes my neck to look swollen. I tried to read the ultrasound tech's face while she was doing it, and she has one heck of a poker face. Seriously.. I hate that. They called me today and the nurse kept stumbling over everything that she was saying. My heart starts pounding thinking that she is going to tell me that something is wrong. "The ultrasound did show.... that... " WOMAN! SPIT IT OUT!!!!! "that it was normal." UGH!! So, the moral of this story is that if you ever see me, and notice that my thyroid looks large. Keep your dirty mouth shut. ;)

God is so good. God would have been good if I found out that I had a tumor, or something worse. God is always good. My faith has been tested. I always think that cancer would never happen to me, and I honestly wasn't thinking that I would have it. I was worried that I would have to have a cyst or something removed. Now, my mom was in some serious pain after this surgery. They literally slit her throat from one side to the other. She is a strong woman; nothing ever hurts her. When I asked how she was feeling while laying in the recovery room, her response was "It hurts. It really hurts." My strong mother was telling me it hurts. IF I had to have this surgery, I wouldn't be able to have my girls around me for a little bit because they wouldn't understand why they couldn't hug me, or poke the Frankenstein's monster neck. Sorry, mom, but that was a freaky looking wound. She knows that. She knows that I usually can't handle stuff like that, but I did this time. I was determined to be strong for her. haha! I am a weenie..

25 random facts

I have seen a few bloggers do this. I am kinda bored. So, here it goes..

1. I was born in New Mexico. Every time I have to get a new driver's license or anything that makes me show my birth certificate, I have the employee ask if that is in the United States. Please, people, learn your geography!

2. I always dreamt of being a teacher. I used to play school with my little sister and teach her everything that I was learning. I actually was a teacher for a year, and hated it.. well, the parents. Parents think that their kids can do no wrong, and that it is the teacher's responsibility to teach them EVERYTHING in the few hours at school.. Now, I get to teach my own children, and I am so excited!

3. I LOVE pineapple. Especially when it's frozen. YUM!

4. Fall is my favorite season. There is just something about the crisp air, and comfy sweaters that I LOVE.

5. I used to love decorating for Christmas. My mom and dad's house was always so beautiful. Now, our house is very small, and all of the decorations end up giving me a headache a week in. I feel like a Scrooge.

6. My husband and I have been a couple for almost 10 years. It is amazing how much we have grown from 15 and 16 year olds to 25 and 26 year olds..

7. I am growing more and more passionate about nutrition and the foods I feed my family. I wish I had studied nutrition in college.

8. Scott took me to see the ocean for the first time on our honeymoon. I think a large piece of my heart stayed there on the beach. I love it.

9. I love having girls. If I have all girls, I will be just fine with that. (not that I would be unhappy with a boy)

10. I honestly believe that I married up. My husband is one good-looking, God-fearing, loving man.

11. My favorite Disney princess is Belle. She is the only one who wasn't chasing a prince. She loved to read.

12. My second favorite is Ariel. Why? She's a mermaid. Enough said.

13. I am currently waiting on ultrasound results to find out if I have a tumor, cyst, or something else on my thyroid. I am trying really hard to stay calm, but for some reason am really REALLY nervous. God is in control.

14. I love coffee. Coffee with a lot of cream and sugar.

15. Sonic vanilla coke is my weakness. I never used to drink soda.. now, I can't seem to stop. I know it's terrible.

16. I have an almost paralyzing fear of crashing into water with my girls in the van with me. Two five-point-harness car seats and a sinking vehicle... yeah...

17. I LONG for a vacation with my husband where we can just relax and not worry about anyone else's schedules.

18. I always cut Chloe and Addi's PB&J sandwiches into shapes. Always.

19. I can't stand when my toe-nail polish is chipped. I could care less about my fingers though.

20. I don't like when people brag about all that they have done. God sees what you do in secret, and will reward you openly. Quit bragging about how "awesome" you are..

21. I am really trying to work on complaining less. Can you tell?

22. I love reading books about being a good, Godly wife and mother more than I like reading novels.

23. I feel like I don't have any talents to offer to God. I am still working at figuring out what mine is.

24. I LOVE being a mother. Every day isn't perfect, but I am doing what I was created to do.

25. I feel like I am failing on a daily basis. Failing at being the mom I always dreamt I would be. Failing at being the wife my husband needs. I struggle with this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and I am working so hard at overcoming it.



Thank you for wasting your time. :)

The.End.

My husband left for a "work trip" on Sunday, immediately after church. Yes. That is Mother's Day. Now, that is all fine and dandy. I was feeling really down this Mother's Day because I should have had a one month old to celebrate with. Now, I know I am so blessed to have my girls, and if that is all God chooses to bless me with, I am still incredibly blessed. My parents were in town, so Sunday was fine. Monday morning they headed out. I kept the girls and myself busy all day. Cue night time.

Chloe is potty trained, but she likes the little potty chair. Well, I sit her in the potty and run out to the kitchen to put a package of chicken in the fridge so that it didn't go bad before I got a chance to divide it and freeze it. I walk back into the bathroom 2.5 seconds later (our house is T-I-N-Y) and Addison has decided to splash Chloe's urine (sorry) allllllllllllllll over the bathroom. I am YELLING about how that is nasty and not a toy. I start cleaning it all up. In that time Addi opened a drawer and yanked my open makeup bag out, spilling the contents all over the floor. Also busting an eye shadow all over the floor. Seriously. I start thinking about how much I miss my mom and dad, and my husband. I start crying hysterically. Chloe gets a really worried look on her face and says, "You tired, Mama? You tired?" "Yeah, baby, I am tired." "Me blow your nose." And, she comes over wiping my nose with a tissue. I have got to learn to hold it together in front of my girls, but maybe it is better that I am real in front of them.. Anyway, to make a long story short, Chloe stayed up until MIDNIGHT yacking at the door with her demands. (goldfish, animal crackers, a different movie, more milk, more milk again) AHHHHHH!!!

This morning she wakes up at 7:30. I didn't fall asleep until sometime after 1 I believe. I am EXHAUSTED and feeling extremely frustrated because she HAD been sleeping in until 8 or 9 this past weekend. Once Addison gets up we load into the van and head for Target and Lowes to run a couple of errands. Chloe and Addi apparently hate each other today. They fought in the shopping carts. Chloe has to sit in the basket because NONE of the two-seater carts have working buckles. She thinks its funny to stand and jump in the basket. She also thinks it is funny to SPIT at me. I don't think it's funny that I have to slap her mouth to get her to stop. They refused to eat their lunch... Naptime was short for some reason..

This evening was really magical. Addi and Chloe hit each other SO MUCH that they both still had red marks all over their faces when I put them to bed. Addi would breathe, and Chloe would yell at her, so Addi would pinch her, so Chloe would hit her, so Addi hit back, so Chloe smashed a block, train track, whatever she could find into Addi's head. Eventually all I could do was stare in amazement.. and long to go hide under the covers in bed. I keep thinking that Scott will be home tomorrow, and I can make it. But, I have two more days of this junk. If tomorrow is like today was, I will be putting the girls in the van, and driving across the world. They can't hit each other in the van. They can't even look at each other. Addi is so quiet and content in the van. It is magical. I moved the seat so far forward that Chloe cannot kick the back of the chair in front of her, so her annoying habit has stopped while Daddy is gone.

I have really been working on self-control. I struggle with this. I am not slow to anger as the Bible tells us we need to be. I used to be the exact opposite. I really have become a LOT better, by God's grace, at controlling my temper. Some people like to remind me of who I WAS. I am not that person any more. And, I think the fact that all three of us are alive after a day like today shows that I have mastered it. Ok, not mastered it, but I never overreacted. I didn't constantly text my husband about how awful his daughters were behaving and how much I was angry that he was away. I was not perfect by any means. Right now I long to chug a bottle of Nyquil and slip blissfully into a two-day coma.

I am about to start a book called "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions" The cover has a picture of a woman with her head in a purse. I am guessing she is SCREAMING at the top of her lungs into her massive yellow purse. I'd like to borrow her yellow purse today. Today has really been a struggle. If you read this, please pray for me to have patience and know how best to respond to Chloe to get her to LISTEN. She is blatantly disobedient and I have tried everything that I know to do. I read a lot about what I could possibly do with her. I tell her WHY she can't do something. That works better than just telling her not to do it. I know that today is a result of daddy being gone since Sunday, and she just doesn't fully know how to vocalize her emotions. There is no excuse for the level of disobedience that she portrayed today though. Addison's level was completely understandable.

Sorry for ranting. I just really needed to get it off my chest so that when Scott calls I don't blow up in his ear. Pray that he has a safe trip home on Thursday.

About me

I remember doing these in high school, so for old time's sake.. Here we go! :)

Name: Ashley

Birthday: May 10- That is Friday, ya'll!!

Birthplace: Alamogordo, NM

Current Location: Near Flint, MI

Eye Color: grey

Hair Color: BLONDE

Height: 5' 8"

Right Handed or Left Handed: right

Your Heritage: German, Cherokee.. not sure what else...

The Shoes You Wore Today: Sandals

Your Weakness: coffee

Your Fears: crashing into water with both of my girls in the van..

Your Perfect Pizza: cheese

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get down to 135 pounds

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Who uses instant messenger anymore?? It used to be "anywho"

Thoughts First Waking Up: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Your Best Physical Feature: I don't even know anymore. I used to think it was my hair, but now I feel like I don't have any good features. No, I am not fishing for a compliment here..

Your Bedtime: Whenever I finally fall asleep.

Your Most Missed Memory: Watching my husband (then boyfriend) play football

Pepsi or Coke: coke. cherry.

MacDonalds or Burger King: I would rather eat garbage.. it would probably be healthier..

Single or Group Dates: SINGLE!!

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton

Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla

Cappuccino or Coffee: both!

Do you Smoke: never.. disgusting.

Do you Swear: Honestly, if I am really REALLY mad or stressed, I slip up.

Do you Sing: Yep

Do you Shower Daily: Yes, most of the time.

Have you Been in Love: I am still in love with my first love. :)

Do you want to go to College: I did, but no I didn't want to.

Do you want to get Married: I am and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Do you belive in yourself: I am working on that..

Do you get Motion Sickness: more after having kids..

Do you think you are Attractive: Not at all

Are you a Health Freak: Yes!

Do you get along with your Parents: Yes

Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes

Do you play an Instrument: I can play ONE SONG on the recorder. lame.

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: never

In the past month have you Smoked: never

In the past month have you been on Drugs: never

In the past month have you gone on a Date: ha! What is a date?!

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes!

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: NO! That is so terrible for you..

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: nope.

In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes

In the past month have you been Dumped: No!

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope.

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no

Ever been Drunk: never..

Ever been called a Tease: yeah I think so.

Ever been Beaten up: nope.

Ever Shoplifted: nope.

How do you want to Die: the rapture

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I am grown up. I am doing what God wants me to: be a wife and mother

What country would you most like to Visit: Italy


In a Boy/Girl..


Favourite Eye Color: hazel ;)

Favourite Hair Color: bald. sexy!

Short or Long Hair: short lol

Height: I'm good with my short hubby. ;)

Weight: Wow, these are shallow.. MUSCLES..

Best Clothing Style: I always said that I never wanted a guy who spent more time on his looks than I did.


Number of Drugs I have taken: like over the counter drugs? I don't know..

Number of CDs I own: several!!

Number of Piercings: my ears are pierced once.

Number of Tattoos: nada..

Number of things in my Past I Regret: A couple, but I have learned from my mistakes and believe that God will use me to help people making the same mistakes as I did.

8 months

I just found this post that was still a "draft". Enjoy ;)


I cannot believe that my baby is 8 months old, or that I am about to enter my 4th month of pregnancy #2! This pregnancy has been so much more difficult than Chloe's.  I have been really sick, and ended up losing 8 pounds.  My belly didn't disappear though.  I love how blessed I am. Here is the baby's heartbeat, if this video works!

Chloe is crawling EVERYWHERE.. including up the stairs!! HELLO KID, YOU ARE ONLY 8 MONTHS OLD!! She is pulling up and "cruising" around the furniture.  The other day she stood by herself for a few seconds.  She didn't fall either, just reached out to grab the couch.  She is getting to be such a big girl.  It seems like her skull is healing nicely.  The swollen spot is pretty much gone, so that is wonderful!  I am so thankful to have such a healthy, happy baby.  She is still teething.  The top two are STILL working on coming in. Her gums are so swollen and red.  She also is getting two more on bottom that have slightly poked through. It is making bedtime pretty miserable for all of us around here. But, I don't blame her.

You are what you eat.

I have really been on a food kick since having the girls. I don't just accept whatever junk they are marketing towards my kids. Or me. I started to get educated. There are so many food allergies, and types of cancer, etc. that people keep asking "Why is it so common?" "These things didn't exist 'back in the day'". Well, most of the "food" you are eating isn't really food anymore. It has all been genetically modified in some way or another. One of the things that I really buy organic is fruits and vegetables. Scott and I are on a TIGHT budget. He is a youth pastor; which translates to not a lot of money. To me, it is worth sacrificing to be sure that I am feeding my family the best possible food.

I make a lot of our own spice mixes (taco seasoning, chili seasoning, ranch seasoning, cream of whatever soup. I make it all. I am not trying to brag or toot my own horn, just sharing some info. It is not that hard to make these mixes. I OCCASIONALLY spend on Saturday putting all of this together. The thing is, it lasts for MONTHS. The best part of all of this- if I buy spices that I know don't have any hidden pesticides, this is MUCH better for my family. There is no added sodium to any of the mixes this way. Read your labels. See how much extra junk you are putting onto your food that is not necessary at all. It saves a lot of money, too.

I buy fruits and vegetables in season. I buy whatever is on sale and plan around that. Have you heard of the "dirty dozen" and the "clean 15"? Look them up. Memorize them. Everyone always says that their grandparents didn't buy organic food, so why should they. That is because our grandparents had FOOD. We have chemicals coating our food now. You wonder where the cancers keep coming from? Food is the greatest medicine. I buy the clean 15 as "normal" produce. Being on a budget, I try to save as much money as I can. These foods that I know aren't as contaminated are foods that I am willing to buy non-organic.

Another thing that I buy organic is yogurt. My girls and I LOVE yogurt! We have a Trader Joe's that is 30 minutes from our house (and also right down the road from the outlet malls!) I make a trip there once a month. Their organic yogurt is not much more expensive than regular yogurt at Kroger, etc. I also don't buy the individual cups of yogurt unless I have a coupon or am going on a trip. This cuts down on the cost A LOT, too. I am just fine with spending the extra minute it takes to scoop some out into a little bowl. Honestly, with the cost of milk, I have not been able to buy that organically. I would love to, but it is just too difficult right now.

Kroger sends coupons for their Simple Truth organic meats a lot. If I can get a good deal on it, I will buy as much as possible. We cannot afford to buy all organic food, but every bit counts.

Don't be fooled. Just because things say ORGANIC doesn't mean that they are all organic. If it is marked USDA certified organic, it has to be 95% or more organic. Some companies just write organic, but it is not certified. Not that you ever truly know, but I always look for it to be certified organic.

Take care of your health. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that your body is a temple. You only get one. Treat it kindly. Take care of yourself. This means eating right, too. You can't eat garbage all day, and be lazy and expect that to be honoring to God. I am amazed at how many people in our Baptist churches laugh about being Baptist so we eat. They are overweight and unhealthy. They have not taken care of the temple of God. Yet, they will sit back and judge someone that walks in with a tattoo. Now, I am not saying anything for or against tattoos here, I am just saying that I am tired of one side being ignored. We are to do EVERYTHING for God's glory. That includes being good stewards of His gifts, which does include the body He gave you to do His work in. How can we reach people for Christ if we are too busy laying in bed sick all of the time because we aren't taking care of ourselves?

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Remember, you are what you eat.

Spring is here!

Hello to my few loyal followers! Spring has indeed arrived in Michigan. However, it is Michigan, and winter could still poke it's ugly head in for an unwelcome visit!! We have had beautiful weather here recently. It is great timing, too, because my sweet girls are sick. We may not be able to go out in public and spread our germs, but we can play in our yard and get some fresh air and sunshine. Addison woke up this morning with a fever. It was a low-grade fever and she only had a slight cough so I wasn't worrying about it. During naptime, her slight cough turned into a really terrifying sound. I decided that I needed to take her to the doctor ASAP in case she needed a breathing treatment or something. I have been really blessed in that neither of the girls have ever needed that, but this cough sounds so strange. Our pediatrician's office closes at noon on Wednesdays, so I took her to the ER. I found out that she has a sinus infection. She is on an antibiotic for 5 days, and I am really hoping it works. She sounds terrible. Tomorrow we will be taking Chloe to the doctor. She has been coughing for over a week now, but it doesn't sound as bad as Addison's does, so I didn't think anything of it. I figure it is better safe than sorry. Please pray that my sweet girls get well. We have had a terrible winter with sickness. My due date has come and gone. I survived. Scott got me a beautiful bouquet of tulips. God gave me strength and grace. I am going to be confessing something here. I have baby fever. BAD. Almost everyone that I know is pregnant or has just had a newborn. I miss those snuggles. I miss breast feeding. I miss rocking a sweet baby all day long. I miss it all. I love the phases that the girls are in though. Mostly. Chloe is still ornery, and I am actually going to be removing gluten from her diet to see if her behavior improves at all. She is such a strong-willed girl. That will be good in the future I think, but for now it is a little (lot) frustrating. She loves her Sunday School classes. She loves to go to church, and to Daddy's "ossiss". Addison loves her nursery teacher. She will be moving up to a real class in October. Yikes! They are growing up so fast. I really didn't think that I was blinking. We just got back from our trip to Illinois a couple of weeks ago. We had such an amazing trip seeing our family. The girls handled the trip like champs. No real melt-downs. They behaved really well while we were with family. They loved everyone's "puppies". I found out that I will be blessed with TWO nephews this year. One from each sister. It was fun. It is always hard to say good-bye to family, but it is also nice to get back to our church family and OUR home. My parents will be coming up next weekend to stay for a few days. Scott will be heading to the fellowship meeting on Mother's Day. I will be spending 5 days without him. My parents will still be in town for one of those days, so that will be nice. We are going to go on a DATE! What is that even like? I don't remember! haha! Scott's parents will be coming in June for our anniversary. They want us to go out and enjoy ourselves. I'm telling you, we have the greatest parents!! I am so excited. We haven't been on a REAL date for a long time. We need to invest more in our marriage. I know that.